W.A.L.T: entertain
Description: In week 6 term 3 Troy's writing group was writing about a what if story. The starting of the sentence had to be what if you woke up and all the clocks in the world went dead. Once you were done the first story you could make your own what if story.
Evaluation: What part did you most enjoy? I enjoyed the first paragraph because I think it will hook the reader in.
What was the hardest part? The hardest part for me was getting my story done because it wax a really long story to write.
What would you work on next time? Next time I would work on making my story shorter because it is a really long story.
Feedback/feedforward: I think you did a good job at your writing. I think you need to work on making your story shorter. Aalaa
Here is my what if story.
What if you woke up and all the clocks in the world went dead and the time froze? You were the only one moving and all your friends were moving too. What would you do?
Well I can tell you that I was once stuck in time and the clocks weren't moving. I was the only one moving and all my sisters and friends were moving too. Keep on reading so you know how to get out of a problem like this.
Me my sisters and friends started to pack our bags with lots of food, lots of, water bottles with different flavours, we also packed our clothes, sleeping bags, pillows and some blankets and all the stuff we needed to survive. We got our jackets on and headed out the door with our big heavy bags on our backs. At least our bags had big strong wheels on the bottom and a long elastic string that attaches to anything.
We put our scooters in our bags and put our helmets on and started riding on our bikes.
We brought our money incase we run out of food or water but I dealt that. We started to ride down the road but then I said "I forgot the bike pump". So we turned around and got the bike pump.
We were riding down the road almost about to leave Palmerston North. We went past the sign that said Palmerston North. I turned back and all I could see was a empty city with no cars or people.
There were no cars coming and entering Palmerston North. We were riding for a long time so we stopped and had a snack. We ate some popcorn, oranges, nut bars and some cake.
We started to hit the road on our scooters. If your wondering where our bikes would go they can fold up and fit into a bag. We were almost entering this city called Lower Hutt.
We saw a purple thing coming from the plaza connecting to the sky. We realized that the purple thing was stopping all the clocks in the world. We put our scooters away in our bags and started to run. When we got to the plaza we went up the escalator to see who was doing this to the world.
We found the person who did all this miss. Her name was Creepy Coney. She was so creepy nobody liked her. She stole some toys from kids. Well actually she only stole the toys from the boys that she liked.
She said she was doing it because she, was doing the same thing as her mum and dad. "Nothing can stop me now" she said.
We thought really hard and then we knew that the clocks stop working when it is wet. So maybe if we wet the purple thing maybe everything would be back to normal. We put the water on the purple thing and then everything went back to normal. We got to Palmerston North and everyone was moving. I went and hugged my mum and dad because everything was back to normal.
What if we were stuck in snow forever?
.jpeg)
